More holiday!

Mum tells me loads of things and expects me to understand them all.    She explained to me that she keeps going missing to do this stuff called work because it provides dog food.   Sounds a good plan to me.  She also said it gives money (can I eat that?) for holidays, but she has to go lots of days to earn days off.  Then it got complicated.  Seems last year she could have had two more weeks off but didn't (Why?  I don't really understand).  The bonus is this year she can have extra time and more holidays.   YAY!

"So, Oz, fancy another boat trip?" she asks
"Are you crazy - hell yeah!!"

"Got you a new life jacket for it...."
"WHAT?  Why do I have to have one of them?  Makes me look a right ....."

"Okay okay, enough!   It's because your common sense isn't always functioning and you might fall in the blinking water young man!" comes the patronising answer.
"Yeah right, but I can swim, and it's fun".

"Look", she says a bit more patiently, "rivers are dangerous, they move fast, they have weeds in, they have bits of gawd knows what hiding under water.  Some poor little doggies have drowned 'cos they had no lifejacket - they slipped, fell in and got carried away all on their own and got more and more tired and couldn't get to the bank to get out.   Life jackets help you stay afloat, let people see you and also help people lift you out of the water.  Got it?   Oh and if you want to mess about in the water where it's safe, if you wear the jacket I'll let you!"

Ah, light dawns - she loves me and wants me safe....ok!